Category: comedy

Scottish Poet / Blogger / Community Activist

Look …..

how hard is it to say those 3 wordsyou know they are trueYou know she feels the same

Farewell to an Unknown Friend (Robin Williams Memorial)

He made us laugh, He made us cry, He made us stop, And ask why. He’s been a genie, A President, twice. A teacher, a poet, A nanny for his ex wife. He made fun of Scots, And talked about golf. But no matter what, he was their for us all, On the tv, youtube…
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I Do

We are gathered here, On this wonderful day, To bring this, Gorgeous couple together, In the eyes of there gods, Love found these two, As they take the vows, In the eyes of our Lord, Sorry I mean Gods. Do you, take this lady to be, Your lawfully wedded wife, To love and to hold…
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Ma Am Hame

Ma’ am hame; wits fir tee? Beef Aw comm’n I dinnae eat meat Diddums Mak’ mi sum Quorn. That’ll be bloody right Aye its in the freezer I dont care make it yourself Whit, fine am aff. Where you going? The toon tae get mi tea Take the dog Nut Yes Nut Yes, he needs…
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The Waltz

I hang my jacket on the Moon, The Stars they play our favourite tune, We dance and play among the Planets, And then settle to watch the Comets Roast Chestnuts and Marshmallows on the Sun. And amongst the Constellations we have some fun! The satellites wizz by like flies, Nebula’s that light up your eyes,…
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Top Secret News

Whoa, There is something, I need to tell you, I must be fast, Cannot slow down, Or the, or the, damn, I forgot what they are, Things that we speak, Or we can read, What the called again, What are they, Oh yeh words, Will fail me, Cannot slow down, No time to breathe, I…
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Godzilla

I SEE GODZILLA!! He is walking outside my second floor window but what’s he doing in Scotland? Now I have your attention, And you have guessed the above is a lie, I will tell you about a spider, that’s crawling up the wall! Freaked out are you? But the beast is soo small, No bigger…
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Random

Random thoughts, Things that wont be, Time together, Just you and me. A lie I told, It became a truth, No-one will know, What happens in the dream. Its cold tonight, Wrap up warm. Take a walk, Through the swamp. Picture perfect, Photogenic pose. A random thought, A weakness maybe. Is this the real life,…
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Fuck This Season

I hate the fucking season, Pisses the fuck out of me, I hate this bloody season, Give me a reason to be jolly, Ill show your fucking lie, I hate this fucking season, Cant wait for it to end. Who cares how many presents you got, Materialistic much? Who gives a shit about how big…
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Slap

Purple wellies, Green boots, Yellow ballet shows, Onions on a hook, The monkey screams, Banana on the wall, The TV sings, Tunes of a life. Bombs land, People dies, Simple things, the media lies. New year is close, is it fuck, Digit change, nothing else, We all get Another year older, Year will still be…
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